“LET’S MATE…..!!!” Friday, Nov 7 2008 

……Cock meets Hen, Cock wastes no time, Hen gives it up…such scenes are played out in the animal kingdom world over…man belongs to this kingdom..but man has a bigger brain or so they say. man in his infinite wisdom cooked some theory and came up with this thing called L.O.V.E , that is a polite way of saying “Let’s Mate”, so we say “i love you baby” yet we mean “i want to mate with you”..”am in love” yet we mean “am ready to mate”…

…Boy meets Girl..boys talks to girl…they go out a couple of times…and all this time boy wants ‘to hit that’..if only we could do it like the chicken do, i see you(..ladies strictly)…i make a dash for you, a couple of minutes(..err!! seconds)..we both are impressed with what just went down, so there’s no such thing like Love..its just Mate…so next time you walk up to a woman just tell her this “i want to mate with you tonight”..

So am just saying…”LET’S MATE”…coz this is the “mating season”………

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“RUB-A-DUB” Sunday, Jul 5 2009 

Twenty five years and a month after I was brought onto this earth,  I stepped foot in a discotheque or something close to that, now I think hand claps and a standing ovation are in order because for me this was a tall order. So this recently opened chapter In my life caused me to write this plus the fact that one guy asked me for the umpteenth time why I wasn’t writing any new stuff for this blog.

 

So this petite, lady friend of mine that I had called up asked me to travel to mukono so I can catch me some fun, my pockets being a little heavy and my not so clean mind kicking into action, I hurriedly got myself into a taxi to mukono(needless to mention the traffic jam and the thoughts that were going through my mind.) and hauled a***e. I got  there in one piece, hooked up with my friend and two other friends of hers plus a friend of mine that happens to be friends  with the other three, few hours later we decided to storm the most happening club in mukono, that goes along the names of “SHAKERS”.

 

Now there is something about a dance club and the hormones in both the male and female species of the human race, ever smelt lust? Well if you haven’t pliz visit a discotheque near you, the place reeks of it..

So here I was in a whole new world, brand new experience, with the music pounding through my heart, my ears desperately trying to regulate the amount of sound they are taking in(the writer is not sure if what he just  said is scientifically true), drunken guys stepping and bumping into me, guys with crazy dance styles throwing there arms in my face, fighting to place an order at the bar..basically it’s just chaos but with a feel good thing about it.

My dear hosts disappeared in the thin pungent air of the club, so there I was, drink in hand, standing on the dance floor trying to figure out where these  three ladies and gentleman could have disappeared to. Then I noticed that the most of the guys on the dance floor were engaged in a dance style that had them  and there partners cojoined at the hip and they seemed to simulate certain erotic movement, “voila” my  mind went, I need to get me someone to do what everyone else was doing, coz by this time I wasn’t thinking with my head but somewhere in the nether regions, I could only think of one person to do that with, but she was doing it with someone else already! Now my night was starting to get bad, the other person I turned to didn’t bring out the desired effect(if you know what I mean!!). I found me a nice vantage point that could let me watch the other people to do the dirty on each other, my hormones were in overdrive by now, I had to find me someone to do the “rub-a-dub” with, I must’a walked  a thousand miles around the dance hall in search of  my would be “rub-a-dubee” me being the “rub-a-duber”, but everyone was rubbing someone, except for yours truly.

 

Now I must hasten to add that I had travelled to mukono to get me one hell of a “rub-a-dub”, here I was “rub”less, my supposed host lost somewhere in the darkness of the club,i was starting to get bored coz the DJ just couldn’t give the right mix of music, I had taken one too many non alcoholic drinks and I hadn’t gotten rubbed like I hoped I would plus sleep was slowly getting the better of me ad I had one thig on my mind, going to bed needless to say that I wouldn’t be in that bed alone..huh! Fate had other ideas, I shared a bed with a guy..and I swear nothing happened even though the night was so cold.

 

I learn’ t one thing though, that a dance hall provides some sort of aphrodisiac, its like uhmm…hmmm… how do put this mildly without using the word foreplay(oops!! I just said it.)..so its a form of that word that I just mentioned….now I gotta go….

Manic Mondayz……………… Tuesday, Nov 11 2008 

 

…I woke up this morning at around 08:00(such an ungodly hour for me, 10:00 is my time…), with an incredibly sore throat, so I have this discomfort down my throat… Any way that’s besides what I am writing this for, just thought I would let you know, (like you care!)

   

     Being a novice at this blogging stuff, I have to work my head real to get what to write about, see, unlike you I always have writers block… (Probably because the Television has eaten up what used to be my brain)

      So today…uhmmm…mhhh…i will …huh…talk about Mondays…Yeah that bloody day, or that f*****g day, damned day, crappy day…it’s the most cursed day in the history of the day’s of the week.

 

       It comes after a weekend of rest, merrymaking and Love m****g(.huh.you get the drift!), then you have to wake up to face that boss that you secretly harbor murderous feelings for… in my primary days I was in day school, so my mother always dragged me out of my sweet puberty driven dreams at 6:30am(and that’s when the dream’s getting steamy), I was under the impression that some long bearded greek oldman had come up with this education business, so the poor old dead and gone guy suffered my awful thoughts towards him. In my senior school days, I cursed Monday’s because that meant the blasted mathematics teacher would be in class that morning, meaning one thing for me and my behind….bloody canes….

       

       Twenty four years later, I still hate Mondays. I belong to the unemployed class of Ugandans so when we are not looking down in disdain at the employed class on a Monday, we are busy trying to contend with the boring T.V shows. Monday’s are the most boring days in the history of television so I am switching between CNN, Aljazeera and all those other stations that are making money off reporting tragedies all over the world….

 

       At this point I have to go coz it’s a Monday and I have to wash the dishes from last night’s dinner and breakfast this morning coz every Monday morning the rule says I should be washing them dishes, and they got me to write this piece (not good I know) and the fact that Cindy Lauper’s song ‘Manic Monday’ is playing on my computer

ps(i wrote this yesterday but i have bug to contend with)